Whatever /I/ Like

i want this to have a good outcome.

i want to gain experience from this loss, patch it to myself, as knowledge for later, or whatever.
i have no perserverance.
i want to be strong.
yeah, people change.
yeah, friends leave.
but i can’t seem to get myself to accept that, let alone understand this.
i’m trying soooo hard to make the best of this.
but i have no idea how.
i don’t want to go running back.
are you even there to run back to?
seriously. it will never be like before.
but i can’t seem to grip this….
i can’t just pretend like i never had a friend like you, through my hardest times.
but i can’t pretend like it’s always going to be like that, either.

we had been through alot together.
damn. but, i guess we’ve moved on?
i don’t know what the fuck to say.
i don’t know what i feel, what you feel.

i can’t just let this go, but i want to so bad.
it’s been so hard for a long time, just pretending. i don’t want to do that anymore.

at first i felt relieved, but now, in a way, i feel empty.

“No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes. It’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends- they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything- they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them- actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

Marilyn Monroe

(Source: quote-book)